How Understanding Trauma and Neuroplasticity Can Transform Your Finances—and Your Life

I have shared my journey to motherhood and my daughter's early challenges when coming into our forever home. She was born in Haiti and came home at the age of two. The story I tend to tell is when I was standing outside a grocery store, desperately explaining to the security guard that the 3-year-old girl screaming "I not!" as she tried to run away was, in fact, my daughter. Sadly, this is not an isolated story. There was a time at an indoor bounce house that it took two workers and myself an hour to coak her from her hiding place wedged between a bounce house and the wall, then carry her screaming and fighting to the car. There was another time, at the pediatrician's office, when they wanted to weigh her, and she took off screaming down the hall, finding an empty exam room, and hiding under the exam table. Every one of these events was heartbreaking, not to mention the toll it was taking on my baby girl, who would be exhausted from the tantrums. Worse, as I looked at her, I could see her broken soul. Trust me, I knew we needed help. However, since she was only three years old, traditional therapy wasn't a great fit, and it felt like no one could really SEE her. They wanted to label her with things like ODDs, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, or Sensory Processing Disorder truly; the list goes on.

It wasn't until I discovered The Connected Child by Karyn B. Purvis and David R. Cross that I realized my daughter's behavior was a trauma response. Intrigued, I dove deeper into Purvis's work and took a course at her Institute of Child Development. This was the turning point—not just for my daughter but for me, too.

My daughter was in the flight, fight, freeze trauma response, and literally, the things I learned in the course I took from the Institute of Child Development changed my daughter's life and mine, too. I've been a self-improvement seeker for as long as I can remember. So, coupled with my past self-improvement knowledge and through this experience, I was introduced to the concept of neuroplasticity—the brain's incredible ability to rewire itself. As I went to work shifting my parenting approach, I discovered that, like many mothers, motherhood had shifted my values. I wasn't as career-focused as I had been in the past. Frankly, given that my daughter was adjusting to her new environment, she needed me present.

Wanting to slow down my career roll forced me to look at money. Well, that was the LAST thing I wanted to do, and when I'd actually drum up the courage to look at the 14-tab spreadsheet my former CPA husband had created, I'd go brain-dead. What was happening? I realized I was having a fight, flight, and freeze response.

Well, I knew I could develop some tools to help me rewire how I thought and felt about money. I had seen the science of neuroplasticity in action with my daughter, so I went to work. I found another mentor, Lacy Phillips from To Be Magnetic, whose work is backed by the science of neuroplasticity and emphasizes unblocking beliefs of unworthiness and expanding our self-worth to align with our goals. Despite all my past self-improvement homework, I had deep negative self-talk and limiting beliefs around money. I worked on reprogramming my own self-sabotaging patterns, redefining my core values, and creating a budgeting system. My husband still keeps his spreadsheet, but I needed something I could look at without overwhelm.

So why am I sharing this? I have taken what transformed my life, not just my financial situation, and am sharing it with like-minded people and seeing amazing results.

While I still need to get enough of my own data, a Citigroup study on financial coaching supports financial coaching. The study revealed impressive results:

• 54% of clients with no savings initially had savings after coaching.
• 48% of clients with savings increased their amount.
• 55% of clients with unsecured debt reduced it, with a median decrease of $3,005.
• 47% of clients raised their credit scores, with an average increase of 59 points.
• 67% of clients report a significant reduction in financial stress after coaching, leading to a calmer mind and better mental health.
• 85% of participants feel more confident in their financial decisions, boosting resilience and positivity.

Here is an important disclaimer: My financial wellbeing didn't happen overnight but over the last ten years. I have layered all my learnings to create Unlocking Financial Wellbeing. I want you to experience your financial freedom now, not take ten years. Remember, financial wellbeing is a part of wellness, and since finances are a huge source of stress, they impact our overall wellbeing.

So, if you or someone you know wants to stop scrambling to cover bills, stressing over every surprise cost, and get aligned with your deepest values and goals, I am offering FREE Discovery Sessions. I'd be honored to help. Please forward this newsletter or reach out to me by email at [email protected].